250 straight days of Trailer Park Boys poetry.

06 December 2009

Fin


The Trailer Park Boys Haiku project has run its course. I hope you enjoyed reading these haiku (or more properly senryƫ) as much as we enjoyed writing them. Repeated viewings of TPB episodes, combined with a little bit of hash and a quart of rye, would undoubtedly inspire 250 more poems, but we must turn our attention to other matters. Thanks for visiting our site,


Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

05 December 2009

Obvious persuasions


a cock-like mushroom
captures Trevor's attention -
we know why that is

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

04 December 2009

Bobandy's burgers


endless storage space -
he drove many into that
cheeseburger locker

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

03 December 2009

Viciousness


watch oot for the wamps
those dirty little bastards
they'll machine gun ya

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

02 December 2009

Old police trick


a solid beating
administered with phonebooks
will leave no bruises

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

01 December 2009

Best intentions


frozen for three hours
multiple slices of bread
now "comfort" me

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

30 November 2009

Ownership


What, do you own space?
No, in fact, Naysa does...
they're rocket people

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

29 November 2009

One of those days


my milk substitute,
rum 'n coke on cereal -
the breakfast of champs

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

28 November 2009

The pain


my face is fucked
the tooth ache went on too long
jaw's now infected

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

27 November 2009

Cleanin' dirties


my washing machine?
kiddie pool and hockey stick -
swirlin' clothes around

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

26 November 2009

Mixin' board ain't yours


found those in a ditch
got this sellin' lemonade
think that shit is hot

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

25 November 2009

Bangin' cops again


degenerate cop
handcuffed to the shower head
Officer Dicklock

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

24 November 2009

The way it is


no stops, no toilets
the way of the road, buddy...
my urine gets tossed

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

23 November 2009

Research and development


the spinning rat wheel -
it's for kitties to play with...
will it be a hit?

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

22 November 2009

High school Ricky


"Ricky" on one sleeve,
"Grade 10" on the other sleeve -
big man on campus

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

21 November 2009

My creed


Live by these words, dawg -
if it ain't right it ain't tight
- such ancient wisdom

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

20 November 2009

The greatest insult


"Go suck it, Donny!"
results in witty retort:
"No, you suck it...more"

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

19 November 2009

First time driver


Who would give this gift
to their nine-year old daughter?
Not many fathers...

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

18 November 2009

Shit-gardening


when you plant shit-seeds,
you end up growing shit-weeds -
a future shit-field

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

17 November 2009

The test III


challenge accepted,
Cory "fixes" the mower -
with wrench held backwards

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

16 November 2009

Oscar Goldman


he's an idiot;
pecks around, looks at insects -
he's a chicken

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

15 November 2009

CT Convenients


single cigarettes
ripped DVDs, chips and pop -
there's money in these

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

14 November 2009

Trevor fesses up


That chicken right there?
It's not smarter than me, but...
it might be tougher.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

13 November 2009

Parental advice


being a good dad -
fucking hungover, burnt out...
that's what it's about

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

12 November 2009

Joke overlooked


fishing rod's my cock...
...the vacuum cleaner's my cock -
get it Julian?

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

11 November 2009

Reporting


This is Steve Rogers...
at Sunnyvale Trailer Park
...I'm Steve Rogers

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

10 November 2009

Randy, ready to rumble


coagulated
gravy hotdog bun bastard -
go put some pants on

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

09 November 2009

You got any?


when the dump bees strike
only one thing soothes the pain -
a stick of bee suave

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

08 November 2009

Brunt on the belly brings belches


the bottle assault
forces gas to the surface -
Phil Collins explodes

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

07 November 2009

My pet name


There is this one clue,
that Mr. Lahey is drunk -
"Randy Bobandy"

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

06 November 2009

Modesty please


talking packages
in front of our grandmother -
please refrain from that

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

05 November 2009

Where for to find romance?


guess you can't bang now
behind the old muffler shop -
love interrupted

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

04 November 2009

Miracle stick


the fridge, golfed by flames,
protected pepperoni -
now threatened by Rick

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

03 November 2009

Bubbles' martial arts skillz


the shit twister and
dirty onion ring bastard
meet flailing nunchucks

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

02 November 2009

Chef Ricky


fish sticks on the grill,
bread toasted via blowtorch -
trailerpark gourmet

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

01 November 2009

Strengthen the bond


get it together -
you gotta start growing dope,
and get some money

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

31 October 2009

Surprise fuck-up awaits


Cory and Trevor -
friendship, trust, reliable
- no doubt they came through

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

30 October 2009

Inanimate objects


I'm smarter than this,
but that thing's smarter than me -
runs on batteries

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

29 October 2009

Expanded sales territory


go for booklearnin'
or go there for to sell drugs -
two reasons for school

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

28 October 2009

Where's Ray?


Ray is not here now,
he went to fuck-off island -
I'm fuckoffious

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

27 October 2009

Shiticide redux


little shit larvae,
shitapillar pandemic -
soon shit-moths fly

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

26 October 2009

Efficiency in poverty


whipped cream serves two roles:
to lubricate my razor
and to feed my mouth

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

25 October 2009

New career


ganging groceries,
stealing from parcel pick-up -
want some twizizzlas?

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

24 October 2009

In my head


flowing more brainly -
book-thinking, learnins, and stuff...
...my brain is scrambly

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

23 October 2009

Makeshift mask


facial protection
hand-crafted from old milk jugs
ball-hockey goalie

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

22 October 2009

ATM double caution


take pains to prevent
electricocksuckution -
dangerous wiring

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

21 October 2009

ATM caution


exploding dye pack -
bald-headed dicks that beat drums
is what we'll become

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

20 October 2009

Giving chase


look oot the windshield,
police helicocksucker -
dump the cigarettes!

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

19 October 2009

Cups


my finest crystal
cut from old soda bottles -
fill 'em up with rum

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

18 October 2009

My dad's stash


Smoked weed and then ate...
NINE cans of ravioli -
I'm ashamed of it.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

17 October 2009

Effect of distraction


Where is Shitrock at?
Here kitty kitty kitty...
lost track of my cats.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

16 October 2009

Boys...


blow torch sparks the bud,
and Ricky falls to the ground -
hands down, the best dope

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

15 October 2009

Cat dish highball


garden hose water
suspends the powdery mix -
shoehorn stirs the drink

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

14 October 2009

Interactions misperceived


Julian's training?
He uses commands and terms,
treats us as equals...

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

13 October 2009

Desperation


my destitute friend
hovers over the driveway
smoking old foot hash

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

12 October 2009

Self-sufficiency


sipping from puddles,
crunching old bug carcasses -
the kitties sustain

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

11 October 2009

Fucking quagmire


you should fuck off first -
we'll all fuck off together!
i'm not fucking off...

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

10 October 2009

J Roc Productions


for only nine grand,
one track on the new album -
that's cheap, that's family

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

09 October 2009

For good behavior


a stretch lemonzine
escorts us from our sentence -
completed early

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

08 October 2009

Clearing stick


random shit crashing,
a hockey stick clears the car -
isn't that precious?

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

07 October 2009

External use only


hunger takes control,
his finger swipes a sample -
moisturizing creme

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

06 October 2009

Usual working conditions


mysterious wounds,
crying, bleeding, scared to death -
keep those hands up, boys

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

05 October 2009

Makeshift pillow


takeout container,
likely held fried chicken once -
now cushions his head

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

04 October 2009

Co-opted home


shed full of bottles,
empties from Ray's booze habit -
the liquorlanche comes

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

03 October 2009

Yes


As sure as you're dumb,
the Tin Man indeed hosts one -
a sheet metal cock

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

02 October 2009

Food in the aftermath


Ray gets real meat,
I swab heels in bacon grease -
delicious breakfast

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

01 October 2009

Trinity makes her mark


bottles slap his gut -
what do you think of me now,
huh hamburgler?

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

30 September 2009

Used to like it


Once so fucking cool,
now seriously fucked up -
what happened to jail?

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

29 September 2009

I can think of others


some things just don't mix -
shit and strawberry shortcake
is an example

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

28 September 2009

Proof of love


Old blue jay burger,
a little gamey but good -
love from chef Lahey

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

27 September 2009

The test II


How many fingers?
You know I don't like that game -
I'd rather not count.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

26 September 2009

Soon ensnared


pepperoni trap
complemented with fresh smokes -
who's fucking with Rick?

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

25 September 2009

Eazy scrilla


load up the cheeba,
and drive it straight to Moncton -
baaaaaam, that's ten peezies!

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

24 September 2009

Dr. Conky's diagnosis


he's fucked in the head,
and he needs a brain transplant -
Ricky's health problems

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

23 September 2009

Unchecked kitties


too many of you,
parents banging like crazy -
tooth pain replaced care

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

22 September 2009

Wrastling


long bodied aliens,
shitty old corduroy pants,
and translucent skin

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

21 September 2009

Deep video


reverse black and white,
talk about negative art -
this shit's dope as fuck

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

20 September 2009

Privacy


some old liquor bags,
intertwined with lawn chair straps -
new shower curtain

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

19 September 2009

Rock bottom


don't start drinkin swish,
old, dirty, shitty liquor -
gets you some drunk, though

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

18 September 2009

Not intimidated


two things there, Lahey:
one, put on some fucking pants
and B, fuck off

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

17 September 2009

Mission will fail


squeeling walkies yell;
adjust the fucking s-quelch!
stupid radio

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

16 September 2009

They appreciate it


Cory and Trevor,
fucking be hard on those guys -
you're in charge of them

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

15 September 2009

Throw bottles and...


know flamin' shitbags?
throw some of them in the mix
lot 423

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

14 September 2009

For small money


their recycles oot,
awaiting curbside pick-up -
we own 'em, not you

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

13 September 2009

Just how it is


For the most part, sure -
good fathers don't go to jail...
some do every year.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

12 September 2009

Good livin'


there is nothing wrong
with living in a car -
did it for 9 years

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

11 September 2009

Kitty reclamation


loaner from Bubbles,
protects plants from squirrel piss -
the lender arrives...

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

10 September 2009

The thing with books


you look at pictures
get your brain workin' greater
books are good for that

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

09 September 2009

Jail break


tonight I'll get drunk
hopefully there will be dope
first night of freedom

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

08 September 2009

No duct tape


Stripped down, repainted -
super double bunk-b-q...
Can Red Green do that?

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

07 September 2009

April Wine?


Helix was wicked -
Gimme an R - O - C - K!
They had good lyrics.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

06 September 2009

Rough shit-seas


let's haul in the jib
sailing towards a shit typhoon
covered in shit soon

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

05 September 2009

Needed shiticide


once shitapillars,
every fuckin' one of them,
and now they're shit-moths

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

04 September 2009

Submersion


the cold lake waters
conceal chop-shopped barbecues,
as well as lerches

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

03 September 2009

Distraction


holy shit, boys
you try that dope-flavored rum?
(riiiiiiiiip goes the duct tape)

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

02 September 2009

Some scrilla


We'll do some S C -
some soft core with your candy...
greasy and stupid.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

01 September 2009

Peaceful...for now


quiet Sunnyvale
no dope, bottles, squealing tires...
boys must be in jail

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

31 August 2009

The price of love


the little tins now,
same price as big tins once were -
treats are through the roof

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

30 August 2009

Path to ass kissing


A new double-wide...
...or encyclopedias?
Rick did the right thing.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

29 August 2009

Ray's wisdom


you lost everything
your old man knows you better -
that's the way it goes

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

28 August 2009

Julian's, now Ricky's


his grandmother's car -
driven drunk, smashed into poles...
love that ol' yorker

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

27 August 2009

Ducting the issue


tacky strips of gray
secure his hodgepodge above -
Ricky hauls his shit

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

26 August 2009

The big score


we're rich as fuck now -
thirty-eight thousand dollars,
all in unmarked bills

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

25 August 2009

Rivals


it's spy for spy here -
he shot my car, I shot his;
that's the way things work.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

24 August 2009

It's Ricky's treat


anticipation -
J-Roc and the Roc Pile long
for those new track suits

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

23 August 2009

Fancy word papers


Who's this suit-dummy?
He is a lawyer, Ricky.
You're a fuck-off-er.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

22 August 2009

Starting on the right foot


just got out of jail
so I pay a hundred bucks
for you to fuck off

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

21 August 2009

Trust issues


I have the money
but no faith in fuckronauts.
You don't trust shitbats.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

20 August 2009

Kinda fuckin' sucks


I'm cramped when I sleep,
it gets kinda cold at night -
I live in a car.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

19 August 2009

Nicest shed there's ever been


A satellite dish,
416 channels,
and indoor plumbing.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

18 August 2009

Heard this one before


I gotta new plan,
not going to jail again -
this one is perfect

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

17 August 2009

Cyrus's lament, part II


the crĂšme de la crĂšme,
my vintage erotic films -
smashed by Julian

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

16 August 2009

So they say


Romance a woman -
take her out for Chinese foods;
It is the best way.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

15 August 2009

I swear


Ricky writes in chalk -
"I will not blaspheme in class"
...promise soon broken

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

14 August 2009

Riiiiiing (fashion police)


For wearing them pants,
you are charged 500 bucks -
it's post-Labor Day.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

13 August 2009

Talk to the gut


Can I get fifteen,
um, half-eaten cheeseburgers -
plus some for my friend?

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

12 August 2009

Hesitation, temptation


[jar of pickled eggs]
mmm...with those delicious things
you can't buy me off

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

11 August 2009

Erreeaarrrrrrreeeee...


Everyone on Earth,
Trying to judge the J-Roc -
Ya nawmsayin' dawg?

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

10 August 2009

Ricky's greasy movie


A film for Russians -
Raveen does well over there;
you will be bigger.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

09 August 2009

Randy's bloat


I've seen him do that!
He drove 15 cheeseburgers
in that fucking thing!

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

08 August 2009

Exposed


(Lahey dressed in drag)
"We're practicing for a play!"
"I'm just in shock, boys."

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

07 August 2009

Four-eyed royalty


I fix shoppin' carts
to feed all of my kitties -
I'm king of the carts

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

06 August 2009

Use normal words


A low blow, asshole -
I didn't get my grade ten;
I'm stupid, you know.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

05 August 2009

Yeah, Lahey


Why not do your job?
Stop false incriminations
by not making them.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

04 August 2009

Wooden spoon-mixed


duct-taped garden hose
dispenses precious solvent -
plastic-ware Kool-aid

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

03 August 2009

Opening


bullets lead to screams,
a dog barks through the chaos -
and so it begins...

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

02 August 2009

Great escape


Maybe you know Jim?
Or Jim knows you, possibly?
Ah, he's your father.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

01 August 2009

Welcome back


Where you staying, Rick?
The fuck-off hotel, Lahey...
...erm, Julian's car.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

31 July 2009

People stick together


On your jock, en masse -
a whole bunch of park hustlers;
jock doesn't stick, though.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

30 July 2009

Thas right boooy


The J-Roc posse -
4 idiots on cell phones,
sellin' stereos.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

29 July 2009

O' happy days


"Filmin' episodes?"
- Ricky's question for Cyrus -
"Huh, Fonzarelli?"

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

28 July 2009

Ricky's "joke"


knuckles wrap the "door"
"resident" asks for ID -
response is "fuck off."

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

27 July 2009

Ray's many faces


Fraudulent cripple,
Rebel, pirate, Calvinist...
and Canadian.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

26 July 2009

Unity conundrum


Here in Sunnyvale?
Around here it's all for all -
AND it's one for one.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

25 July 2009

Cyrus's lament


My old man once said -
"You know son, I'm proud of you."
..........he's a fucking prick.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

24 July 2009

One of the two


Hey, I need some stuff -
You can give this stuff to me,
Or I can rob you.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

23 July 2009

Ignorant, arrogant rant


This Julian guy?
He lost his privileges -
con college student.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

22 July 2009

Seasonal changes


quiet Sunnyvale -
no dope, bottles, squealing tires;
enter...shit brothers...

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

21 July 2009

Sustenance


Charity for Rick:
room in the car to sleep, plus...
hotdogs and vodka.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

20 July 2009

Reconnaissance


(transceiver crackles)
10-8, you gotta 10-2?
10-4 there, Randy.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

19 July 2009

NOT Julian's fault?


Counselors tell me this -
It is society's fault,
not mine, that I'm here...

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

18 July 2009

Blame game


Julian can frig off!
His force-fed drugs led me here -
The blame falls on him.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

17 July 2009

First night oot


Tonight? Really drunk.
And I hope some dope's around...
poignant cinema.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

16 July 2009

Somehow caught on tape


bullets lead to screams,
a dog barks through the chaos -
the series begins...

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

15 July 2009

Stand up for Ray


fucking hash driveway
puts dad in jeopardization
must disallow it

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

14 July 2009

Thick glass deception


Can you read my son?
Well, that depends on one thing -
Can you fahk yourself?

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

13 July 2009

Shitstorm redux


You feel that Randy?
The shit, it clings to the air...
shit blizzard's started.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

12 July 2009

Why I don't go in


grizzly cocksuckers,
shitty bears, and porcupigs -
plus hillibillies

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

11 July 2009

Helpless


This is Vince the Pince -
born with no bones in his foot.
Naaah, just tricked the judge.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

10 July 2009

On a mission


Thick, acrid smoke -
the truck cab has been hot-boxed.
I can't see jack shit.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

09 July 2009

Trevor's offer


(snake bites Ricky's cock)
Need to suck the poison out,
just like on TV

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

08 July 2009

Science project


started with egg thing
inside incubaker thing
and then it was borned

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

07 July 2009

Kill?


when all is said and done,
what Julian doesn't grow
won't extirpate him.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

06 July 2009

Natural selection


Wha' d'ya say boys,
survival of the fitness -
none of you persist.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

05 July 2009

The test


Suitability?
He'll wear a suit if he must,
but Rick will not pass.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

04 July 2009

Pissin' me off


listen twinklenuts,
go get some hyposuction,
you shirtless bastard

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

03 July 2009

Yellow unfriend


sudden, searing pain
Ricky's reeling from the sting -
bumble cocksucker!

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

02 July 2009

Trash?


one man's garbage,
another's good ungarbage -
just the way it is

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

01 July 2009

Feelin' heat


desperate for relief
from my sweaty discomfort...
Trevor, shirt - let's go

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

30 June 2009

Not helping


50 ft. peace bond -
you directed it at me,
but you stay away.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

29 June 2009

Like them


Paddlin' that boot
up the Dum Dum River -
too often my course.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

28 June 2009

Puppet twin


controlling my brain,
that cotton-clothed parasite
forces...me...to...........talk trash

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

27 June 2009

Back to the cab


Ray finds new shelter -
familiar metal cocoon;
he did drive trucks once.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

26 June 2009

Certain jugs


converted liquor,
color of liquid sunshine -
tossed...sloshes and froths

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

25 June 2009

Rotund friend


gentle Phil Collins,
hangs oot with dirty Randy -
they're burger addicts

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

24 June 2009

In your face


(fingers extended)
I'm gonna give you right now
some homemade fuck-offs!

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

23 June 2009

It begins soon


time to bail us out
a couple of shit-puppets -
parts in our shit-play.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

22 June 2009

Pet vacation


tickle their bellies,
get'em down, spin'em around -
fun at Kittyland

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

21 June 2009

Shoulda known


you fucked up again -
normally I'm not that guy,
but atodaso

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

20 June 2009

Putt putt putt


Cyrus spies trouble:
Hubble bubble telescope
with fucking fruit cart

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

19 June 2009

Recording


Check this shit out, buoy
("J-Roc, baby" heard two times)
shit's been pimped TIGHT

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

18 June 2009

Mentor/apprentice


See this Trinity?
I call this the "train technique" -
two carts go at once.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

17 June 2009

Real space words


the carbinator,
fucked over by aliens -
refuckulate it

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

16 June 2009

Break then repair


he doctors their wounds,
twisted metal carcasses
exploited for cash

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

15 June 2009

Flesh pillow


the bus gently rocks
her peaceful, pensive commute
gut-interrupted

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

14 June 2009

Over


breaker breaker, Earth,
gonna land on Juniper -
cravin' some space weed

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

13 June 2009

Wearing blue


number 420,
representin' with the "C" -
mad hash hockey skillz

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

12 June 2009

Who's car?


clever dispenser,
delivers rum from the dash -
drinkin' and drivin'

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

11 June 2009

Cowboy in white pants


bare-chested stallion
pimps himself for sustenance
...to gut fetishists

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

10 June 2009

Shit's ripe


The boys were released.
Ready for the shit harvest?
Get your shit basket.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

09 June 2009

Aspirations


Yeah, I have golds now -
to grow clones and sell some dope,
which is no big deal.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

08 June 2009

Dysfunctioning


Awright soft serve,
you in this greasy skin flick?
The girls are ready.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

07 June 2009

Ends meet


the crash of metal,
carts bouncing end over wheels -
soon...reclamation

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

06 June 2009

Rick does good


Pompadoured mall cop
now busts his coke-bottled friend;
he used to be cool.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

05 June 2009

Master plan


freedom 35:
break the law a few last times,
then we're retired

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

04 June 2009

Alter ego


soaked in swamp water,
my plastic DoppelgÀnger
decants sage advice

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

03 June 2009

The boyz approach


shitnami threatens;
don't drown in the undershit
of that great shitwave

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

02 June 2009

You fucked up


Keep your hands up, boys.
There'll be no high fives now -
you disappoint me.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

01 June 2009

Hungry, lazy cat


skunky dope trailer,
chock-a-block with tasty clones -
no place for kitties

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

31 May 2009

Without my carts


EI or UI...
whatever the fuck it is,
I haven't paid in.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

30 May 2009

Rebuilt shed


how does he survive
harsh Canadian winters
uninsulated?

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

29 May 2009

Brains to match


handsome brunette,
ripped bi's support a cocktail -
hey there, Sexian...

Missy
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

28 May 2009

Criminal duo


It's Gut Cassidy
and his rotund companion,
Sundance Cheeseburger.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

27 May 2009

Rough maritime life


Detroit Velvet Smooth,
thah mahfukah's rhymes is TIGHT -
streets of Moncton, dawg.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

26 May 2009

War hero


While no one's looking
ascend into your trailer -
where is your ramp, Ray?!

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

25 May 2009

Fight to return


For good food and dope,
and ball hockey dominance,
I violate laws

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

24 May 2009

Highly illegal


couple o' scapegoats,
befuddled, sickened by fuel,
become gas kingpins

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

23 May 2009

New 'dos


Randy and Lahey,
freshly minted permanents...
coupon confusion

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

22 May 2009

Flavored fuel


oh, supremium -
the flavor's kinda sour...
diesel is tasty.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

21 May 2009

Quickly ridin' slow


warm sepia dream
furiously pedaled bike
9 speeds overlooked

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

20 May 2009

Proposable


for you, my Lucy -
a cubic zarcarbian,
or carton of smokes

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

19 May 2009

Let's go


Would you welcome me,
please, with just a little bit
of your precious milk?

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

18 May 2009

Idea$


B 'n E's grade nine shit,
like theft over a thousand...
sell some fuckin' hash.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

17 May 2009

Where's my shitjacket?


shitbarometer,
measurin' the shitpressure -
shitwinds are comin'

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

16 May 2009

Dinner


Gimme some of them
sweet empowered chicken things
with jal-ap-an-ohs

Missy & Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

15 May 2009

Bang bang bang!


Exchange of gunfire,
somehow nobody gets hit...
We all suck at guns.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

14 May 2009

Unopened X-mas present


Beloved machine
ruffles childhood memories...
it is my namesake.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

13 May 2009

Wrestling machine


Hail the green bastard!
Opponents tremble at those
fierce eyes MAGNIFIED...

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

12 May 2009

The event

A tense atmosphere -
fightin' words were exchanged.
Randy removes pants...

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

11 May 2009

Mating name


The pond water drips
off of the failed absconder.
He's Randy Lahey.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

10 May 2009

On the hunt


Those greasy skin mags,
I know where J-Roc hides 'em.
Steve French keeps the gate.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

09 May 2009

BBQs et al.


Trevor moves the junk.
Ricky, collecting the "trash,"
makes easy money.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

08 May 2009

Reminisce


Recalling good times,
I crank it up and rock oot
to Diane Sawyer.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

07 May 2009

I'm like you


One leg at a time,
I slide into my track suit -
like everyone else.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

06 May 2009

Drunk


Hey Mr. Lahey
why not take another pull?
Washed up, has-been cop.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

05 May 2009

Only in Russia


I would like to act
in a J-Roc masterpiece...
one of his grease films.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

04 May 2009

Rick's nick

Do you know Ricky?
Heeee's the fuckin' man they call -
Impossibilist.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

03 May 2009

That huge dump


Holy FAHK boys,
you know what we're dealing with?
A fuckin' samsquamtch.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

02 May 2009

The pest


Green cannerpillar
you better not eat my dope,
fuckin' dope junkie

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

01 May 2009

Not an animal


Sam Losco, the vet -
tossing rotten dogs about;
pull my dirty tooth!

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

30 April 2009

Need$


Money makin' scheme -
government furniture grift.
Aww...that's greeeasy.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

29 April 2009

Foil wallpaper


blinding, reflective
my metal halide mother;
hydro grows good buds

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

28 April 2009

Recruitment


Wha' d'ya say boys?
Gonna help me grow some dope?
You, you're dumb as fuck.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

27 April 2009

Hairy, creeping beast


A fucking samsquamtch!
Beat that dirty cocksucker!
Fahk, it's Julien...

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

26 April 2009

The clutter


Yeah, I'll clean my car,
gimme that broke hockey stick.
Ok, now fuck off.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

25 April 2009

Black beauty


a backfire echos,
fucking car has but three doors -
humble shitmobile

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

24 April 2009

Tossers


Broken glass rains down,
bottles crack through the attack -
somehow we'll survive...

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

23 April 2009

Trashy Lucy


Dirty cocksuckers,
I bet they'd give anything
to feel those implants.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

22 April 2009

Flashing lights


What about those cops?!
A) I don't give a fuck, and
3) they're dumb as fuck.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

21 April 2009

My dealers


Dennis and Terry,
barely ensconced in soft silk -
flappy bird brothers.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

20 April 2009

Enforcement


Patrolling the park?
Officer cock knuckles and
his partner dicklock.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

19 April 2009

Day job


Earning some scrilla -
From Russia with the Love Bone,
thas how I do it.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

18 April 2009

To be bungled


Neither brain surgeons
nor rocket appliances
needed for this scheme.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

17 April 2009

Games we play


My alter ego?
Indianapolis Jones,
bumble bee wrecker.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

16 April 2009

Shitstorm passing


Those halcyon hours,
the eye of the shiticane...
Ricky returns soon.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

15 April 2009

In flagrante delicto


Pullin' my goalie?
Nah, dawg, I was just changin'...
Turn that shit off, though.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

14 April 2009

Learned


6 or 7 times
I taught myself dope growin' -
denial and error

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

13 April 2009

The thing about kids


Grow dope, drive the car...
gotta let 'em have freedom.
That's good parenting.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

12 April 2009

Tryin' to quit


(Trinity lights up)
Trin, only daddy can smoke,
while wearing the patch.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

11 April 2009

I earned it


There is this one thing
I'm in deservament of -
blonde Lebanese hash

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

10 April 2009

Snackin'


Twoonie for a stick,
FAWK that's good pepperoni!
Wish I had some dope.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

09 April 2009

Hey


Cory and Trevor,
to you I extend my hand -
smokes, let's go.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

08 April 2009

The Shit Leopard


pepperoni sticks,
a bag full of chicken chips,
Ricky's favorites

Smokey
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

07 April 2009

Trouble


a muscle car growls,
the smell of fresh gunpowder...
Cyrus is in town.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

06 April 2009

That bulbous orb


bulbous, hairy orb,
those dirty old cheeseburgers,
fuckin' Randy's gut

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

05 April 2009

J-Roc


You nawmsayin' dawg?
I'm J to teh R - O - C,
livin' with my momz.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

04 April 2009

Bangin' cops


Lucy's banging cops,
which is no big deal, I guess.
I don't run Lucy.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

03 April 2009

Grade 10

You make my words, world,
I'm gonna get my grade 10.
Then I'll sell some hash.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

02 April 2009

Rickyisms


Ricky's lexicon,
so bizarrely corrupted...
we know what he means.

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

01 April 2009

Drinky drink


Julian's cocktail:
rum, rocks, and a twist of Coke;
it's everlasting

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

31 March 2009

Kitties


My dear Bubbles,
thirty-seven kitties now...
does that count Steve French?

Holmz
Sunnyvale Trailer Park

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